Dear Nana

Dear Nana,
Today you are no longer with us, you are in a better place. This morning when the phone rang so early I knew it was bad news... well, bad news for us, not for you. I planned to write you a letter after my busy exam week but I couldn't find your address. I asked Mummy and she told me I could email it and someone would read it to you...so I planned to write you a letter yesterday. The reason I didn't write it before is because I was still thinking of what to say. Should I tell you good-bye or just pretend that everything is normal? I figured this would be my last letter to you so I had to make it perfect. Saturday night we found out you were in a coma...I was a few days too late....but please know that I love you, that's what I would have written in my letter... I wish I could be at the funeral but it is just not possible. This way at least I don't have to say good-bye but rather I can say, I will see you again soon.

Remember when I came to Australia and Mummy was really tired and went to bed and told us to go to bed too? You had a sly grin on your face when you decided we should bake instead :). So we were sneaking around the kitchen giggling when *CRASH* I dropped my pan on the floor....oops! "GO TO BED!" We laughed :). Or remember the other time when I came to visit and I didn't have room to bring a stuffed animal in my bag so you let me borrow "lambie" to sleep with? Everytime you called after Mummy & I went back home, you would tell Mummy that "lambie" was still on the bed because it reminded you of me. Leaving after every visit was the hardest. I would usually write you a letter shortly after I got home and often the ink would get smudged by my tears. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, that may be true because every visit we had together was such a highlight in my life! Once when you came here to visit you came to church with us and I remember introducing my best friend to you and feeling like I would burst because FINALLY I had a nana that I could show off too! (It was hard to show you off with you living so far :S)

All day today I have tried to keep my mind occupied with other things, but it's hard. The tears still come without warning. When I was in Tim Hortons today the girl was SO RUDE and I wanted to say "DON'T YOU EVEN CARE THAT MY NANA IS GONE?" ...but it's not like she knew....it made me think that we don't know what is going on in other people's lives and should ALWAYS always be kind because they could be going through something and a little kindness will go a LONG way.

Well Nana, I guess this is the last you will hear from me for a while. Remember, you are always in my thoughts. I still cry for you but eventually my tears will go away. That doesn't mean that I will stop missing you but rather that I am looking forward to our next visit. Heaven becomes a more beautiful place to me as I say good-bye to people I love. Our next visit will be the best, we can avoid the tearful good-byes because we will never have to leave. But until then...I will miss you.

Love,
Cheryl